💔 How Not to Fall in Love with Every Woman You Go on a Date With

Something I have been guilty of on numerous occasions…

By Johnny Depth

Dating in the modern world isn’t just about swipes, cocktails, and awkward brunches. For many men, it’s about emotional landmines. The biggest one? Falling in love with every woman you go out with.

Yes, I’ve seen it happen — and not just to rookies. Guys with great jobs, decent social skills, and even solid looks can still self-sabotage because they confuse “she said yes to dinner” with “she might be my soulmate.”

Let’s break this down before another first date turns into your 47th heartbreak.

1. Recognize the Fantasy vs. the Person

Every date is two things happening at once:

1. The reality — a woman sitting across from you, sipping her drink, maybe checking her phone.

2. The fantasy — the movie you’re already running in your head about your wedding playlist, shared vacations, and naming your kids after Roman emperors.

Falling in love too fast is almost always about the fantasy. You’re projecting everything you want onto someone you barely know. Stop. Let her reveal who she is before you assign her the role of “leading lady.”

2. Slow Down the Dopamine

Modern dating is engineered to spike your brain’s reward system. A match notification? Dopamine. A text back? Dopamine. A second drink together? Dopamine again.

Stack that up, and you’ll mistake brain chemistry for destiny. Here’s the hack: space it out.

• Don’t text her all day after the date.

• Don’t start planning the second date while you’re still on the first.

• Give yourself 24–48 hours before deciding if you actually like her — or just the attention.

3. Ask Yourself: Is This Love, or Is This Validation?

There’s a huge difference between liking someone and liking how they make you feel. Most “instant loves” are actually about validation:

• She laughed at my jokes ✅

• She touched my arm ✅

• She said she likes travel and wine ✅

None of these mean she’s compatible long-term. They just mean you got a hit of ego-nicotine. Don’t confuse it for love.

4. Use the “3-Date Rule” (No, Not That One)

Forget the old “third date means intimacy” cliché. The real 3-date rule is:

• Date 1: She’s on her best behavior.

• Date 2: You’re on your best behavior.

• Date 3: Now you both start letting the guard down.

Don’t fall in love until you’ve seen how she acts when the script wears off. Can she handle stress? Is she kind to waitstaff? Does she flake? If you’re still interested after three dates, that’s attraction, not infatuation.

5. Build a Life Bigger Than Dating

Men who fall in love too quickly often do so because they’ve made dating the center of their lives. Every date feels like a Super Bowl because they have nothing else going on.

Solution: stack your life. Work on your fitness, career, friendships, hobbies. A woman should be the complement to a full life, not the completion of an empty one.

6. Johnny Depth’s Final Rule: Play to Win, Not to Worship

If you treat every date like you’re auditioning for eternal devotion, you’ll end up

disappointed. If you treat dating as discovery — as practice, as adventure — you’ll keep your head clear.

Remember: you’re not there to fall in love with every woman you meet. You’re there to find out who actually deserves your love. That shift alone will save you from endless false starts and broken illusions.

🎯 Bottom Line

The cure for falling in love too fast isn’t cynicism. It’s calibration. Enjoy the spark, but don’t let your imagination sprint ahead of reality. Keep your heart on a leash until she proves she’s worthy of it.

After all — falling in love should feel like gravity. Natural, undeniable, and mutual. Not like tripping over your own shoelaces every Saturday night.

📚 Want the full playbook? Check out my book 1000 First Dates: Portrait of a Palm Beach Player — now available on Kindle, paperback, and audiobook.